- guardian.co.uk, Monday October 2 2000 02.15 BST
To some, the Bournemouth structure resembles the aviary in London zoo with only Tory vultures inside; to others, a greenhouse to grow shadow cabinet vegetables.
And, in a further change to get pacemakers racing, string quartets have been replaced with rousing techno music.
William Hague will be claiming next that he is going to win the election.
• Best laid plans (1). The party's website, tory.org.uk, is to be replaced by the less patriotic conservatives.com as part of the modernisation drive. The new address is emblazoned across the postmodern backdrop and the party chairman, Michael Ancram, urged voters to log on and find out what Conservatives are all about. Voters who did so yesterday were told: "Site coming soon!" A bit like the policies, really.
• Best laid plans (2). Not a man who likes to work on a Sunday, Mr Hague declined a seat on Sir David Frost's sofa and asked the BBC to send a camera crew to his Yorkshire Dales home. Alas the line went down, forcing Hague to leg it to Newcastle. Instead of half an hour, he got 10 minutes.
• The Tories have created a little fiefdom at Bournemouth, Willieville, in which Hague's word is law and the law is Hague. Afraid someone might try to do a Hague and down 14 pints at a reception for journalists, Mr Ancram decided to postpone the start tonight until 10.30pm so as to reduce drinking time.
• Willieville's security is as tight as ever. A police boat patrols the shore, presumably to deter pirates. On land, two border points have been opened: one for the lower classes via an underground car park, and the other in the Highcliffe hotel for VIPs. No one gets in without a photopass. And the first to be barred? Hague spin doctor Amanda Platell. She left it at home.
