Right. How often do you lie?
Very occasionally
Never
Hand on heart, I'm almost incapable of telling lies
Really, I'm as honest as the day is long
No, seriously, how often do you lie?
Well, all right, I do lie sometimes, but only to protect other people
Never
OK, I admit it, I do lie to protect other people - and occasionally to save my own skin
Lies trip off my tongue with the ease of a Billy Liar or a Walter Mitty. But don't tell anyone or I'll break your legs
Clearly you're a dab hand at evading our cunning line of questioning. We'll try a different tack: Suppose you are invited to a party where there will be lots of off-duty police officers. What do you do?
Enjoy the party. With a clean conscience, you've got nothing to hide
Spend all evening grassing up your friends and relatives for various minor, ancient misdeeds to anyone who'll listen
Decline the offer, as it clashes with a bank robbery you've been planning for months
Go to the party but watch what you say
You meet someone you fancy, and discover during the course of your conversation that they mistakenly believe you to be rich. What do you do?
Keep up the pretence for as long as it takes, providing forged bank statements if necessary
If they ask you directly, then you'll tell them the truth. Until such time, let them think what they want
Allow them to continue believing you to be wealthy for a short time, until you find an opportunity to inform them tactfully of your true financial position
How embarrassing! You immediately come clean. You couldn't live with yourself if they were to get a false impression of you
Last time you wrote your CV, was it:
Absolutely accurate - give or take a couple of fictional qualifications
A true, accurate, warts-and-all representation of your career to date - including a special section on your shortcomings
As accurate as that of most job applicants. No one expects you to sell yourself short
A true and accurate representation of someone else's career to date. Someone with straight As at school, a model university pedigree and a glittering career in show business and high finance
You discover that your work colleague has been shirking their responsibilities. What do you do?
Go straight to your boss and offer to publish your findings on the staff noticeboard
Ignore it. Everyone gets away with whatever they can get away with
Take your friend to one side, tell them what you know, and offer to help clear up the backlog of work
Blackmail your colleague, forcing them to take on some of your duties if they want you to keep their secret
You notice that an elderly neighbour is becoming more forgetful and is developing a personal hygiene problem. What do you do?
Tell the person, even if this provokes tears. Sometimes the truth hurts
Make a bogus claim to social services, forging your neighbour's signature
Start visiting more regularly to make sure the neighbour's all right. If it's clear they can't cope, you might offer to contact social services on their behalf
Ignore them. It's nothing to do with you
You find an envelope containing £1,000 in the street. Do you:
Keep it, but feel a bit guilty about it
Take it to the nearest police station. Then if nobody claims it, donate the money to charity
Go straight to the nearest pub
Take it to the police, hoping nobody claims it
